Cortex Leadership Consulting

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The One Thing That Holds Women Back at Work

A few weeks ago I sat down with Bill Wadell, with WFXR news and discussed what I thought was holding women back at work.  Here’s the transcript from the session that will appear as a story on tonight’s 10pm news for the Virginia at Work series.

Bill Wadell to audience:  There’s good news and bad news for women in the workplace.  The number of female CEO’s of Fortune 500 companies is up 50% this year.  It sounds like a lot, but it’s really not.  The jump?  From 21 to 32.

Technology, trends, relationships and even attire; a lot has changed in the modern workplace.  But one thing has not.  Men almost always outnumber women in leadership positions.

Women at WorkLynda:  “I think women raise their hand very quickly and say hey, I’ll be responsible for that. they tend to fill in when needed. They will be very accountable for what they took responsibility for.”

Bill to audience:  Lynda McNutt Foster, CEO of Cortex Leadership Consulting, says most women juggle a lot.  Sometimes they hold themselves back from big opportunities.

Lynda:  “What women tend to not do that I’ve seen is that they don’t negotiate authority. I think they understand how much responsibility comes with authority and so they’re concerned about stepping into that space when they have so many other responsibilities already”

Bill to audience:  In many cases, Lynda says, landing that leadership role or more responsibilities boils down to timing and confidence.

Lynda:  “Women will not take a promotion because they don’t feel competent yet. Men will take a promotion feeling confident that they will build the competency to be able to do the job well.”

Bill to audience: Lynda’s advice if you’re the boss?  Listen more – show appreciation for a job well done.

Lynda:   “I think they need to understand that if they have an extremely competent woman working for them and they really see her potential in the workplace and a promotion comes up, he may need to have a little longer conversation and let her know how valuable she is and how competent she is to help her build the confidence to take on that job”.

Bill to audience:  Lynda’s advice for women wanting to move up in the workplace… be prepared and be brave.

Lynda:   “From the very beginning think 5 moves ahead and try to determine what  authority they’re going to need to execute effectively whatever assignment they’re taking. What ever job they’re taking.”

Lynda:   “Guilt saps us from a lot of energy and doesn’t allow us to be present. So I think for women it’s complicated, I don’t think it’s easy and I personally don’t think it’s men holding us back.”

10p news anchor to audience:  FOR MORE ON WOMEN LEADING THE WAY AT WORK, GO TO VIRGINIAFIRST.COM and CLICK ON SECTIONS, AND YOU’LL FIND VIRGINIA AT WORK ON THE COMMUNITY LIST.

What do I think is one of the main things holding women back from slaying it at work in positions of high authority?  Themselves.  Women are capable, strong, competent and creative.  The minute a woman decides that she wants something (who is going to disagree with me about this?) she goes for it and usually gets it.  The first person we need to point to is ourselves and determine if we really want the pressure, stress, and responsibility of holding those high-level positions.  We need to stand up if we do, stand out amongst those who want that position, too, and speak up confidently about ourselves and our capabilities.  We need to lead with confidence and with the experience of knowing – we got this!

Sure, it’s not easy.  Sure, there’s clearly some inequities in what we face along the way.  Yes, all things are not currently fair sometimes.  Go where you think it’s fair, then.  Work where you feel empowered.  Speak up when you have solutions.  Be brave and slay it!

Additional resources:
Aligning Responsibility, Accountability, and Authority at Work

https://cortexleadership.com/leadership-blog/aligning-responsibility-accountability-authority-peak-performance/

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Cortex Coaching Clinic Client Reviews

Cortex Coaching Clinic

Cortex offers participants in their Leading a Winning Team leadership program and members of the Cortex Council an opportunity to practice their coaching skills in “real time” setting.  The key to becoming a great coach to your team members is learning the skills necessary to properly coach and practicing those techniques and principles.  In order to build leaders confidence in their new coaching skills, Cortex offers period coaching clinics wherein leaders are paired with professionals desiring to be coached.  These pairings occur with instruction to the coachees and coaches in order to ensure the best match of leader to coachee.  These clinics are 1.5 hours in length and occur at the Grandin CoLab.  Check with your instructor or Cortex Coach for details.

Here’s what leaders are saying about the Cortex Coaching Clinics:

“I find the coaching clinics refreshing as a coach. When trying to coach my own staff the day to day work that has to get done can get in the way; what should be a transformational conversation often becomes transactional. There are task lists, deadlines, projects to be done. By coaching others I’m able to focus just on the skills I need to develop as a coach and on the person in front of me.”
 
-Nathan Flinchum
City of Roanoke
 
“The Cortex Coaching Clinic is a great space for leaders to engage in powerful conversation with the aim to improve organizational focus.  As a manager, I have learned how to better serve my team by refocusing/redirecting conversations into a positive direction.”
 
-Kevin Schuler
Goodwill Industries of the Roanoke Valley
 
“Coaching, like any other skill, is developed through continual practice. Participating in the Cortex coaching clinics has provided me with the opportunity to gain experience in the practical application of the techniques I have learned in leadership courses. I recommend the clinics to all leaders seeking to enhance their coaching skills.”
 
-Simone Knowles
City of Roanoke

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Avoiding an Expectation Hangover

I stopped having hangovers induced by alcohol about 13 years ago.  What I suffer from periodically, though, are the ones brought on by expectations.  I was warned about them.  I was told to beware of setting unrealistic expectations – that they could be the silent suckers of joy and fulfillment from my thought patterns.  After all, as leaders, don’t we need to set expectations for ourselves and our teams in order to develop goals towards reaching our desired outcomes?

So what’s the difference between the good types of expectations and the nasty, detrimental ones? 

There are two definitions of expectations when you look it up.  The first one is:  a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future.  The second one that pops up is:  a belief that someone will or should achieve something.  Ahhh… there’s that sucker.  SHOULD.  The root cause of judgement that leads to disappointment, bewilderment, and frustration.  We set those types of expectations and then should all over ourselves and everyone else when they aren’t realized.  Having a strong belief that something will happen or will be the case in the future is one thing.  We lose our way when we add the component that we or someone else should have or will do it.

Root causes of an expectation hangover

  1. Failing to negotiate your expectations with others.  This can lead to some disappointing outcomes.   Does this conversation sound familiar:

Joe:  “What did you expect?”

Sarah:  “For them to recognize the hard work I have put in and the value I bring.”

Joe:  “How did you want them to recognize that?”

Sarah:  “I don’t know.  By paying me more money.  By saying thank you.  By recognizing me at the company meeting last week.”

Joe:  “Before you put in the work did you let them know what you expected?”

Sarah:  “No.  They should know to do the right thing.”

Yep.  People should just know what we want and how we want it.  Sounds ridiculous in black and white, doesn’t it?  We do it all the time, though.

  1. Setting unrealistic expectations. By avoiding research, discussion, and thorough investigation of the current reality we then set expectations as to outcomes that may not remotely be possible to achieve.  We wish things could be true instead of designing our expectations around proven facts and data.  Throwing our future down a wishing well is no way to achieve anything of worth.  Expecting people to be perfect or to act or be like you is a recipe for frustration.  Perhaps you can remember a time when someone set expectations for you that you felt like were not realistic.  How did that turn out?

This short video (about 1:42) made me laugh out loud about what we expect when we ask for something at work:  https://youtu.be/lAc6WvJH25U

If you have ever traveled to one of the “world’s wonders” this video might bring some laughs, and memories, about what you expected vs the reality of what you saw when you got there.  https://youtu.be/gWXJ986wqOY

  1. Moving the expectation needle. Maybe you are good at clearly communicating expectations for yourself and others.  What might derail the expectation train is when the initial expectations are modified and never communicated to the other party.  This can easily happen when situations change and trust begins to erode.  Rather than revisiting the renegotiation or resetting expectations based on the new set of circumstances we operate with the old game plan and BAM! our expectations aren’t met because they changed and we didn’t tell anyone.  This can be highly frustrating for your top performers.  They want to exceed our expectations yet every time they do a great job we expect an even better one in the future.  What expectations have you tried to meet only to find out that they changed somewhere along the path?

Setting clear, realistic expectations for ourselves and others can lead to some pretty spectacular outcomes at work.  To do it well we need to:

  1. Have conversations, at the beginning of any project or process in which both parties feel safe expressing their desired outcomes and concerns for reaching those.
  2. Stair step expectations so that both parties can measure and monitor their progress along the way. Remember that potential equals the sum of your skills + your resources + your behaviors.  Which of these needs to increase in order to reach a higher level of expectation than the current reality you are experiencing?
  3. Recognize when expectations are met and celebrate having reached them in order to build on the bright spots moving forward.

TEAM EXERCISE THIS WEEK:

At your team meeting this week asking this question may help to uncover some hidden expectations that failed to occur:  What did you expect to happen last week that didn’t? 

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4 Keys that account for 89 percent of a leaders success

Out of these top 20 leadership behaviors, which 4 do you think really matter according to McKinsey & Company, a global firm that invests more than $400 million dollars annually in knowledge development for leaders?

Here are the top 20 leadership behaviors to choose from:

 

  1. Be supportive
  2. Champion desired change
  3. Clarify objectives, rewards, and consequences
  4. Communicate prolifically and enthusiastically
  5. Develop others
  6. Develop and share a collective mission
  7. Differentiate among followers
  8. Facilitate group collaboration
  9. Foster mutual respect
  10. Give praise
  11. Keep group organized and on task
  12. Make quality decisions
  13. Motivate and bring out best in others
  14. Offer a critical perspective
  15. Operate with strong results orientation
  16. Recover positively from failures
  17. Remain composed and confident in uncertainty
  18. Role model organizational values
  19. Seek different perspectives
  20. Solve problems effectively

There were 4 out of the 20 that McKinsey found to explain 89 percent of the variance between strong and weak organizations in terms of leadership effectiveness. They were number 1, 15, 19, and 20. Yep. Your focus on those 4 behaviors could mean the difference between your success and failure in reaching your desired outcome.

  • Be a supportive leader (my resource guide will tell you more about each of these behaviors and how to build your skillset in them)
  • Operate with a strong results orientation
  • Seek different perspectives
  • Solve problems effectively

So how do you measure your effectiveness in those behaviors and develop them?

Our brand new ebook is now available:   4 Keys to More Effective Leadership Behaviors that will help you quickly measure your effectiveness in each area.  You’ll then learn, why you might be challenged in that area, which practices and skills sets are most effective in helping you modify your behaviors, and a simple and easy method for getting you started with the change you want to see.

The e-book is currently designed for participants of our Cortex Leadership Program classes and individual executive coaching clients. It is, however, helpful for any professional looking to be more effective in their leadership role.

From many years of training and consulting leaders along with the data from our www.gomonti.com system and hundreds of executive coaching sessions, each chapter will help you and your team quickly identify which exact behaviors you need to modify to improve the results you are currently getting.

If you or your organization is not currently a client of Cortex Leadership Consulting, I would ask that you consider how I might be able to assist you in reaching your goals through one-on-one coaching sessions or group leadership training or a team building retreat this Fall.

If these articles are valuable to you and your team, let me know how you are using them. Your feedback helps me serve my clients more effectively.