What do you say at work when it’s hard to find the right words.

There is no shortage of information out there on how we should do things – the theories people and experts have on how bosses, leaders, and employees should treat eachother.  But what do you actually say when you’re confronted by someone at work?

Lynda McNutt Foster, CEO and Executive Coach of Cortex Leadership Consulting joined Kianna Price, Morning Anchor on WFXR News for Living Local to tell us what to say at work when it’s not easy to find the right words.

Kianna: There are dozens of articles written by coaches, journalists, experts, specialists that come up in my feed everyday on LinkedIn.  Why is it so easy for us to understand what we’re supposed to do in a situation and so hard for us to find the words to say the right thing in stressful or uncomfortable situations at work?

Lynda: Because the emotional part of our brain and the part that formulates our words are different, so the stronger we feel something the harder it is to express ourselves.  It’s like when we feel in “love” with someone but it’s sometimes hard to describe that to someone else.  Imagine when you’re angry… the words are hard to come by.

Kianna: So if I’m in my bosses office and they say something to be that I do not think is true about my work, what should I say at that very moment?

Lynda: When faced with any situation that triggers you it is always best to do two things.  One is to BREATHE – gets oxygen to your brain which it needs to think. Second, try and ask a question for clarification.  For instance, you might say:  Can you tell me more?  Or Help me to understand… can you give me an example of that?

Kianna: How about when a coworker says something a meeting that upsets you?

Lynda: Try taking a deep breath and determining whether it needs to be addressed at that moment or not.  If it does, because otherwise the project or what you are talking about could go in what you think is the wrong direction, try saying:  From my perspective… from my point of view, here’s how I am seeing it.  You could also try asking, “What’s your biggest concern right now?”  Normally when people are having high emotions their brain is telling them something is wrong or there is a problem to be aware of.  Inviting what concerns they have can help reduce the person’s anxiety.