A few years ago, a leader in one of our classes… let’s call him Tom, was having a tough time with employees on his team. During coaching sessions, I noticed that there was a common theme to the team member’s feedback about his behaviors towards them. They were consistently saying the same things like, he didn’t give them credit for their ideas when he presented them to corporate. From their perspective some thought he was inconsistent – they would be called out for something they thought was minor and then other times he would completely overlook something they would have thought was a major infraction. Still other comments were around the perceptions that Tom was constantly late to meetings he had set with them and when he did show up he was on his phone checking email the whole time.
Yes, employees would like to make more money, for the most part. Yes, they would like to have more flexible work hours. Certainly they want benefits if possible. Yes, to all those things AND there is one thing that they want the most from their boss. You probably guessed it already, RESPECT.
The research is in and the information may be helpful for us to review. This article from Inc. magazine was the first source I used for this one. When employees feel they are respected by their leaders the positive outcomes include:
- 56 percent better health and well-being
- 72 times more trust and safety
- 89 percent greater enjoyment and satisfaction with their jobs
- 92 percent greater focus and prioritization
- 26 times more meaning and significance in their work
- 1 times more likely to stay with their organizations than those that didn’t
- 55 percent more engaged at work
If you’re a manager, you may not feel like one all the time, but you are a leader. If you coordinate projects, you are leading others. When you are influencing decisions you are leading. Rather than focusing on people respecting or not respecting us, perhaps we need to look inside ourselves and wonder what things we are and can be doing to let the people that we work with feel respected by us.
Here are some quick thoughts on how to show respect to others you lead at work:
- Listen to understand, not to be understood. Listen for information, not confirmation.
- Encourage others to share their perspective and ideas.
- Be on time to meetings.
- Be aware of your resting face and body language as people are talking to you.
- Treat people the same regardless of their experience, background, race, religion, size, age, or gender.
- Treat others as they wish to be treated. Don’t assume you know. Ask them how they would like to be treated and try just asking them one question, “What types of things make you feel disrespected at work?” They’ll tell you, I am sure of it.
If you’re someone who doesn’t feel like you’re respected at work, the above will probably go a long way to getting more respect if you give more of it.
Here are some quick tips on how to gain more respect:
- Listen to understand, not to be understood. Listen for information, not confirmation.
- Do things that communicate you respect others like being on time and asking for their opinions on things.
- Under promise and over deliver.
- Be authentic which does not mean being rude.
- Focus on ways to create solutions. Don’t play the blame game.
- Seek and share knowledge.
- Recognize and praise others for their work. Don’t act like you have a set number of “appreciation coins” in your pocket to give out in a year.
If all of this talk about respect has made you dying to hear Aretha Franklin’s song, Respect. HERE IT IS!
Oh, you know you want to SING IT OUT LOUD and dance around right now! Oh yeah…just do it!